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Irish Dancing: Heart and Sole
Things you'll NEVER hear an Irish Dancer say...

some funny things a Irish Dancer will NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS say

1. "Ugh, those colors soo do not go together."
2. [The day before St. Pat's] "Yeah, sure I'll go to the mall with you tomorrow, I'm not busy."
3. "Oh I love that song 'Danny Boy,' it's my favorite!"
4. "Did you see Luck of the Irish? That was sooo cool, what great dancing!"
5. "Do you think all that glitterball fabric is too much with the metallic applique?"
6. "Oh those giant green shamrocks are just sooo cool!"
7. "What?! That's way too much to spend on a dress!"
8. "Why are all these guys in skirts?"

9. "Boys can wear pants in competition - why can't we?"
10. "Irish culture? Like ew, hel-lo, I just dance."
11. "That River-thing-a-ma-bingy, what's that about again?"
12. "The sound of the accordian just drives me nuts!"
13. "Why don't we add a little arm movement into my set?"

14. "I am not going out in curlers...not on your life."
15. "Stop dancing in the grocery store, you're embarassing me!"
16. "I ran out of duct tape."
17. "Oh my gosh, get these people a mirror, they're wearing neon orange with purple..."
18. "Yeah, I'm a Riverdancer."
19. "Look at that girl, her fingers are spazzing!"
20. "Oh my gosh, you wear a wig?"
21. "You carry duct tape in your purse?!"
22. "Doesn't she know rhinestones went out in the 80's?"
23. "There are WAY too many rhinestones on that dress!"
24. "Yeah, Riverdance is coming to town, I can't wait to get Michael Flatley's autograph!"
25. "Eww, doesn't she know her socks are pulled up too high?"
26. "I am not paying $250 for a stupid dance dress!"
27. "Ewww, look at those leprechaun shoes!"
28. [At a feis] "What is this, Miss America? What's with the tiaras?"
29. "What do you mean I have to walk out looking like Medusa?"

30. "So, I've got Riverdancing classes tomorrow...."
31. "I don't understand why we can't wear metal taps; Michael Flately does."
32. "Ewww, who would buy a gold scrunchie?"
33. "Ooh, I just love watching cloggers do Lord of the Dance!"

34. "You actually glue your socks to your shins?!"
35. "Why is she wearing foam spikes in her hair?"
36. "What's with all the curls? Shirley Temple wanna-be's?"
37. "She has way too much make-up on!"
38. "What's with the buckles on the shoes; did I go back to the pilgrim days without realizing it?"

39. "I hardly ever get blisters."
40. "A fee-ice.. that's like a jumble sale or something isn't it?" (Someone honestly said that to me once!)
41. "Whats so good about being a World Champion Riverdancer?"
42. "Irish dance.. that's like tap/clog dancing isn't it?"
43. "I'm just gonna put my clogs on and do an Irish jig."
44. "A friend of mine does Riverdancing. You know, like Michael Flatley?"
45. "Look at that idiot with the blue spikey things in her hair.. does she think it's fashionable or something?"

46. (This may seem basic, but it was said to me once) "Irish dancing is sooo not cool!"
47. (when asked to do a treble jig or hornpipe) "Sure! Let me go get my tap shoes on..."
48. "You wear wigs?! Can we say, Rogaine for Women?"
49. "What's LotD?"
50. (In response to a question asking about Irish dance) "Irish what?"
51. (When asked if you are in the St. Pat's parade) "Uh, no. Lame-o! Only geeks and freaks are in the St. Pat's parade!"
52. "Who dances in a pub besides drunks?"
52. "Too...much...hairspray..." ::cough:: "Must...get...out...now..". ::cough::

53. "Irish dance? How hard can that be. I mean, you don't even use your hands!"
54. "Of course I know what Irish music sounds like. I have all of U2's albums."
55. "Sure, I know what those are. Black ballet shoes, right?" (Someone seriously said that to me once.)
56. "Really? You're an Irish dancer? Do some Riverdance steps."

57. "No WAY am I wearing a 20 lb. dress today! It's too hot!!"
58. "What's with these lace sleeves? They're totally weird."
59. "I can dance like Michael Flatley!!"
60. "My favorite dance is the one where the girls take there clothes off!"
61. "Why is that girl wearing curlers? They look so strange."
62. "Eeewwww!! You have callouses on your feet?! Gross!"
63. "Do we have to go to the feis today? I want to watch TV."
64. "Yeah, I can dance like a leprechaun."

65. You really shouldn't kick so high. People can see under your skirt!
66. What are you doing in Irish dance? You're not Irish.
67. I love dancing The Irish Washerwoman.

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